You don't know what you got till it's gone..

i left school this week. The Last day was so emotional, everyone was crying at the fact we won't see each other again. but it wasn't that which made me upset, it was the fact it's not going to be the same. You get so used to routines and seeing your friends regularly, that you end up taking it for granted. i never thought it would be this hard to leave the angmering school. but now i think about it, i've gained and learnt a lot there. I've gained so many good friends, but so many bad ones. So many amazing memories, and so many awfull ones. And so many revelations, and so many regrets. But also, the angmering school gave me so much self confidence. my time there showed me i can be whoever i want to be, and your good friends will except that. So, its hard to leave the place, that's given you so much in the last 5 years. But, you just have to look forward to what the future brings. and the new people you will meet, and how much fun you'll have. You just have to keep moving forward, 'cause in the end, you don't wanna think in a couple years time, that you held yourself back for people you don't even see anymore. The people who stay friends with you, throughout your moving on, are always gonna be the ones worth keeping. <3

Why are..

musicians so desirable? i don't know why most girls, including me, go for musicians. We all have this image in our head of this gorgeous, amazingly talented, person. but in reality, that's really not the case. Most of them aren't amazingly attractive, and we're lucky if they have amazing talent. To be honest, musicians are complete idiots. they're self obsessed, and big headed cause they know that they can get any girl, because they can hold a guitar, and sing slightly in tune. But knowing all this, we all still go after them, because we still have a slight hope of this deluded image of a musician, coming round the corner, and sweeping us off our feet. yeah, like that's ever going to happen.

The best things in life are free..

i love that saying, because its absolutley true..these free things meaning love, family, friends, and freedom. These things are what keeps everyone going in life. without them, i dont know where i would be. Some one said to me the other day "material things are the way forward. Clothes make me happy. its all i need" while hearing this, i've never wanted to slap someone so much.. i mean, how shallow and materialistic can you be to think that clothes are what get you through life. like getting a new top is going to get you through the hardest of times. Although it gives you a nice feeling when you buy something you really like, it never gives you genuine happiness. and to be honest, if buying a new necklace, or buying a new skirt, did make you genuinely happy.. i;d hate to see you genuinely upset. i would rather have a friend, than a brand new coat. i personally think, People who are that materialistic just dont appreciate what they have around them. they don't realise that their friends and family care about them more than any type of object would. Its like, people give them love, respect, friendship, and care, but they just don't see it as a big thing, when in fact, it one of the best things in the world.

Maybe..

all of this isn't worth the hassle.

i hate..

these days. The days where you realise how horrible you are as a person. the days where your self asteem just drops to below zero and you just basically feel like shit. i'm feeling that right now. and pretty much, all i want, is a new start. and to say sorry to everyone, for everything that i've done. but sometimes, that just isn't possible. it might end up helping you, but might end up hurting others. it always comes down to that. you, or others? you, or others? which is more important?
i wish i knew... aha.

FUCK..

my exams start in 3 weeks. better start revising.. Or doing coursework.. uggghhhhhh.

I Need..

inspiration. Art is pointless without it.. plus assuming you actually have any talent at all, which i don't. why i took art for a GCSE still amuses me. The thought that i'd actually enjoy 10 hour exams and actually having to be precise and careful with my work, is just funny. Why did i think i'd be good at this? Oh well. its done now. i have this new plan, that if i intertwine my passions with art, it might be interesting-Hence my idea to use lyrics in my art. crazy. i know.
Today, i realised how ungrateful people are. People moan about there lives 24/7 but they have little to moan about. Compare their lives to people that live in poverty. Not so bad now, is it? i mean, im having it tough at the moment. im positive a lot of other poeple are too, but im not having a massive cry about it. im just getting on with things. Although, im also, not saying "fuck it" to everything. people like that get annoying too. They have a future, i mean, you have to prepare for it, and the phrase "fuck it" isnt exactly going to help. Ive had trouble with friends recently, who have been in the "fuck it" phase, resulting in them being complete arrogant knobs. But, in the end, fair enough. Do what you want with your lives. Its not gonna be me moaning in the end. Well, i hope not anyway.